Theological Discussions

So far this year, especially in this past week, I have regularly had my mind blown about different theological topics.

For instance, our campus pastor Mindy, has been leading a 3 week theological study on forgiveness. We have finished week 2 and I'm pretty sure I don't even know what forgiveness is anymore. But now I'm constantly thinking about it and trying to evolve my definition of the word. My original definition that I wrote during the study was something along the lines of forgiveness being letting go of past wrongs and genuinely holding no anger or resentment towards that thing that had caused you pain. Now, I don't agree with that definition at all and I'm trying to make sense of what forgiveness might mean.

Yes, I think that definition works in a lot of situations. If someone cancelled plans with me, spilled a cup of coffee on me, or many other little things I could find that easy to forgive. But in the examples we looked at in the study things get a little harder to understand where there was abuse or a huge life-changing hurt involved. If something happened that really impacted your life it is not something you can just "let go" of, it impacted who you are and is now a part of you. We talked about all of this while keeping in mind that forgiveness and reconciliation, while closely linked, are two different things.

A broad idea behind this study is that if people who went through extremely difficult and life altering situations are feeling guilty that they cannot forgive (whatever that word means) is the Church doing something wrong in the way it teaches forgiveness?

I don't know if I did a good job clearly summarizing what is going on in my head, but any thoughts or input is greatly appreciated.